Japanese eigo desu...

Sometimes I think, why I am trying to put my thoughts to words, to the flutterings of my conflicted heart. You never understood me when you had access to everything I was, when my life and mind was an open book there for your perusal at any time. And now I'm writing thinking you'll understand based on little pieces of me... Based on momentary fleeting descriptions of transient emotion that are as eclipsed and opposing as the Phoenix and the Ash, but not as correlated or as certain. Why would you ever see the fire in me, when there is also ice? You always saw the worst in me even when I was flying before your very eyes.

As a child, I saw fairytale playing out in the expressive eyes of those around me. Their crinkled lines told stories of glory and daring adventures, their sighs held mysteries to be explored and there was treasure and beauty around every corner. Every dream held a mermaid or an angel. Every spare moment held one of these dreams. And every footstep in murky water was filled with endless possibilities like fishes in the sea.

As a child, my heart was soft spoken yet loud, my eyelashes were wishes, my teeth were my income, my fingernails were sacred painting spaces untouched by nerves or fear, my hair a glowing growing thing that would one day be let down for a boy who would save me from the tower and evils I knew nothing about. And my hands… my hands held the world, just as my heart loved it.

And I will shed just two tears tonight;

One for you and your lack of fight,

One for myself, for all my plight.

     #4 Dear Santa, I wish for

     #3 Dear Santa, I wish for

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     #2 Dear Santa, I wish for
     

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sultry quivers from
secret wishes, hiding
in gardens filled with
blooming flowers; we
lay down on soft grass,
eyes gazing longingly at
our delicious bodies,
coveting hungrily to taste
velvet rich scrumptious
flavors upon juicy lips
dripping sweet nectar of
passionate fruits from
desires; tongues plunging
in luscious tastes of divine
touches where mouths seek
unspeakable things for ripened
tender moans escaping in gasps
rippled sighs of indulgent cries,
no longer eclipsed by muffled
tones behind closed doors, removing
restraints from our greedy erotic fervor.

Lip-tight

     While I am so tempted to splurge these days on shopping spree, I skid myself in every corner trying to walk away from the shops and to defeat with heavy heart those red labels. I always come out from a peek at a store with audibly long deep breaths, exhaling grief over a lost of a good grab that will excite the attention of another shopaholic. At the same time, I can smell relief for the influence it enthralled me at first, but I let go and didn't let the spell enslaved me. Kudos to that!

     Though I won't deny that I do have many "wants" or "would like to have" this Christmas. I am fastening my purse from the lures of high consumerism this yuletide season, instead I have to zip through my millions of dream-plans.

     But in any road, I am still making this fun-wishlist like everyone is having. I am wishing Santa will hear me. Well, the best things in life are for free, especially dreams and wishes. Teehee :p

     Countdown wishlist till Christmas eve...

     #1 Dear Santa, I wish for

     

     

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