I wake up one morning trying to figure things out. The world seems blurry around me; uncertain and bleak. I start to question why life has different meanings. The answer, so naive and plain, that life is fortified with smooth roads and harsh obstacles to make us full in our dimensions. And that what makes life worth living.
Saturday, 28 June 2008
Monday, 23 June 2008
Sunday, 22 June 2008
Saturday, 21 June 2008
Rain
I'm unpacking again because the clothes I've prepared for my trip tomorrow are mostly casual dressy garments. It's been raining for the past few days. I don't think I want my pumps drowned in a pool of water. No, being chic won't be fitting me in this unpredictable weather. Although I've already checked the forecast, it shows that there'll be a downpour. Sigh, I don't want to be confined in my hotel for the rest of the weekend.
And I felt so stupid, was likely to faint two nights ago when I hit the wrong button and was late to realize about it. I have already been confirmed of a ticket to the F1 Japan GrandPrix this October. My seat-ticket is scheduled on delivery by August. When, when, when I was browsing back my page and argh...!!! I can't even finish writing about it. It stings in my heart. Oh please, I really hope I will be reading a positive outcome when I get another confirmation email on Monday from the agent. Or I should be calling the customer center any time by now.
And I felt so stupid, was likely to faint two nights ago when I hit the wrong button and was late to realize about it. I have already been confirmed of a ticket to the F1 Japan GrandPrix this October. My seat-ticket is scheduled on delivery by August. When, when, when I was browsing back my page and argh...!!! I can't even finish writing about it. It stings in my heart. Oh please, I really hope I will be reading a positive outcome when I get another confirmation email on Monday from the agent. Or I should be calling the customer center any time by now.
Saturday, 14 June 2008
Missed
Today's hard without you.
I'd look at my phone every time I've had the chance, all the while knowing that there wasn't going to be anything.
I threw myself into the practice and tried my best to forget, but it always came back to you.
I danced vigorously, but it could not replace the emptiness created from that hug you gave.
I was stressed, and I thought of you, and I couldn't - wouldn't - talk to you.
Everything I thought of, everything I did, you were always at the back of my mind.
I couldn't bear to see anyone today except for those people I had to - because they just weren't you.
The song was so beautiful - and everytime I hear it I felt like crying - and you know I hate it when I'm caught in between sobs.
I tried to focus more today.
I still miss you, though.
... And at the end of the day, when the place's finally deserted and I was alone, I wondered if you were thinking of me and missing me like I do you.
I'd look at my phone every time I've had the chance, all the while knowing that there wasn't going to be anything.
I threw myself into the practice and tried my best to forget, but it always came back to you.
I danced vigorously, but it could not replace the emptiness created from that hug you gave.
I was stressed, and I thought of you, and I couldn't - wouldn't - talk to you.
Everything I thought of, everything I did, you were always at the back of my mind.
I couldn't bear to see anyone today except for those people I had to - because they just weren't you.
The song was so beautiful - and everytime I hear it I felt like crying - and you know I hate it when I'm caught in between sobs.
I tried to focus more today.
I still miss you, though.
... And at the end of the day, when the place's finally deserted and I was alone, I wondered if you were thinking of me and missing me like I do you.
Thursday, 12 June 2008
Sunday, 8 June 2008
Childhood

Just a quickie... Have a schedule to fly to the moon tonight.
This is my uber-vivacious childhood friend. She's a real darling but she could be a raging bitch. So don't try to mess up with her or any of her friends, that includes me, because she'd scorn you to hell. We rarely update on each other, but we'll see each other soonest if our schedule permits. And I really hope her presence won't make me cringe in my own skin. It's been a while, really long while since we last saw each other in Manila. Gah, I was mesmerized by her at that time. Who doesn't? All eyes ogled at her sexiness. I should say, she's so blessed and I'm happy for her. Despite the tragic death of her mom when we just got in the university, then her dad followed just when she's starting to make a life of her own. She's hurdled a lot of intrigues. She might have freed herself from the restraints of being a Muslim, and her values may have loosened, she's stood as pillar to her younger siblings. They are her inspirations to keep on pushing herself to the limits. I quote her, I wake up. I wash my face and go. It's another day. I'm sure. I fight for what I love. And the music keeps going on, my heart begins to beat. Makes my life complete. I'm flying away.
And of course, you will have another him in any minute. They are for certain not worth your tears. I always have you in my prayers, Yang. You know I always do. And I missed Tita too. Your mom was like a mom to me as well. I'm sure if she's still here, though you will complain about her nagging, she'd be too proud of you. You've become what she's always wanted you to be. Being part of FACE and their ace-model, you are a Star... born to be IT! I love you.
Friday, 6 June 2008
Jimi Hendrix
Well she's walking through the clouds
With a circus mind thats running round
Butterflies and zebras
And moonbeams and fairy tales
That's all she ever thinks about
Riding with the wind.
With a circus mind thats running round
Butterflies and zebras
And moonbeams and fairy tales
That's all she ever thinks about
Riding with the wind.
When I'm sad, she comes to me
With a thousand smiles, she gives to me free
It's alright, she says its alright
Take anything you want from me, anything
Anything.
Fly on little wing,
Yeah yeah, yeah, little wing.
(sob, sob, sob... Where in the world did you go, Big Wings? Fly away with your piano?)
Wednesday, 4 June 2008
Hawaiian Tease
nth of May
sulk in good read
engrossed;
came he
sat across
the absorbed.
sulk in good read
engrossed;
came he
sat across
the absorbed.
Later
eyes blinked
yellow crushed on blue;
'Aloha'
pursed my lip
end of chapter.
耳を澄ませば聞こえる
Mimi wo sumaseba kikoeru
笑い声や涙音
Warai goe ya namida oto
みんな生きてる愛する君と
Minna ikiteru ai suru kimi to
広い海を渡るには
Hiroi umi wo wataru ni wa
一人じゃ迷ってしまう
Hitori ja mayotte shimau
一緒に行こう光差す方へ
Issho ni yukou hikari sasu hou e
ぶつかってはまた抱き合って弱さ分け合ってく
Butsukatte wa mata daki atte yowasa wake atte ku
永遠って言葉あるのかな
Eientte kotoba aru no kana
未来を思うと怖くなるけど
Mirai wo omou to kowaku naru kedo
ずっとずっと続く夢があるから
Zutto zutto tsuzuku yume ga aru kara
手をつなごう
Te wo tsunagou
心が叫んでるのに
Kokoro ga sakenderu noni
君は見て見ぬふりをして
Kimi wa mite minu furi wo shite
前だけ向いて歩いて行くよ
Mae dake muite aruite yuku yo
写真の中笑う君今を描けていた
Shasin no naka warau kimi ima wo egakete ita
伝えるって事は難しいね
Tsutaerutte koto wa muzukashii ne
声を嗄らしても届かなくて
Koe wo karashite mo todoka nakute
ずっとずっと叫び続ける日もあるけど
Zutto zutto sakebi tsuzukeru hi mo aru kedo
想い重なり花開く時
Omoi kasanari hana hiraku toki
強大な力が生まれるから
Kyoudai na chikara ga umareru kara
永遠って言葉あるのかな
Eientte kotoba aru no kana
未来を思うと怖くなるけど
Mirai wo omou to kowaku naru kedo
ずっとずっと続く夢があるから
Zutto zutto tsuzuku yume ga aru kara
きっと
Kitto
この空越えたら会えるから
Kono sora koetara aeru kara
泣いてた自分と君に贈るよ
Naiteta jibun to kimi ni okuru yo
ずっとずっと信じていれば叶うから
Zutto zutto shinjite ireba kanau kara
手をつなごう
Te wo tsunagou
Mimi wo sumaseba kikoeru
笑い声や涙音
Warai goe ya namida oto
みんな生きてる愛する君と
Minna ikiteru ai suru kimi to
広い海を渡るには
Hiroi umi wo wataru ni wa
一人じゃ迷ってしまう
Hitori ja mayotte shimau
一緒に行こう光差す方へ
Issho ni yukou hikari sasu hou e
ぶつかってはまた抱き合って弱さ分け合ってく
Butsukatte wa mata daki atte yowasa wake atte ku
永遠って言葉あるのかな
Eientte kotoba aru no kana
未来を思うと怖くなるけど
Mirai wo omou to kowaku naru kedo
ずっとずっと続く夢があるから
Zutto zutto tsuzuku yume ga aru kara
手をつなごう
Te wo tsunagou
心が叫んでるのに
Kokoro ga sakenderu noni
君は見て見ぬふりをして
Kimi wa mite minu furi wo shite
前だけ向いて歩いて行くよ
Mae dake muite aruite yuku yo
写真の中笑う君今を描けていた
Shasin no naka warau kimi ima wo egakete ita
伝えるって事は難しいね
Tsutaerutte koto wa muzukashii ne
声を嗄らしても届かなくて
Koe wo karashite mo todoka nakute
ずっとずっと叫び続ける日もあるけど
Zutto zutto sakebi tsuzukeru hi mo aru kedo
想い重なり花開く時
Omoi kasanari hana hiraku toki
強大な力が生まれるから
Kyoudai na chikara ga umareru kara
永遠って言葉あるのかな
Eientte kotoba aru no kana
未来を思うと怖くなるけど
Mirai wo omou to kowaku naru kedo
ずっとずっと続く夢があるから
Zutto zutto tsuzuku yume ga aru kara
きっと
Kitto
この空越えたら会えるから
Kono sora koetara aeru kara
泣いてた自分と君に贈るよ
Naiteta jibun to kimi ni okuru yo
ずっとずっと信じていれば叶うから
Zutto zutto shinjite ireba kanau kara
手をつなごう
Te wo tsunagou
Sunday, 1 June 2008
Sushi + Oreo = Ohisashiburi deshita
Before I hit the hays and hum myself to sleep, I want to pay tribute to Ryle for fixing my page. Your effort means a world to me. You prod me to write. Thanks mucho! By the way, you're right. I scored just the passing mark. Whoot. I was darn too ashame to fail that exam.
So earlier this evening, that smorgasbord of sushi, I've had the whole platter to myself alone (can you believe it?), weighed heavily against my stomach not! I squealed of joy when I read a text message from sensei.
Good night, world.
So earlier this evening, that smorgasbord of sushi, I've had the whole platter to myself alone (can you believe it?), weighed heavily against my stomach not! I squealed of joy when I read a text message from sensei.
Goodness, this brain is still working. Let's get an Oreo, my treat!Across the street, over a cup of McFlurry we concluded our night in unbending and straightening out of unrelated ideas. Simply we've had the pleasant get together tonight.
Good night, world.






