Manic Valentine

Whilst everyone I know were out on a date last February 14, some had their birthday bash, I was stewing medicinal herbs a remedy necessary to restore my poor health. To comfort my bitter mode, I thought of giving myself a treat. I usually overindulge myself on books and chocolates, when I say treat. But I had enough of that already to sink a ship. I grabbed my phone and...

Boyfriend: Odenwa arigatou gozaimasu. PizzaLa de gozaimasu. Honjitsu wa gochuumon deshou ka?
Me: Hai, chuumon shitai desu.
Boyfriend: Sore de wa, saisho ni odenwa bangou wo onegai shimasu.
Me: (enumerating my eleven numbers to him in English)

He must have noticed that my number is registered to their record already.

Boyfriend: Ohya-sama desu ka?
Me: Hai, hai... (chuckles)
Boyfriend: Gojuusho wo kawarimasen desu ka?
Me: (as if puzzled...) Eh, Nihonggo wo sukoshii wakarimasen, Eigo de hanashimashite yoroshii desu ka?

He asked if I still live in the same place. I told him I don't understand Japanese, if we could only speak in English.

Boyfriend: (amused, then recites my whole address for me...) Sore de wa, gochuumon wo douzo.
Me: Mata onaji desu.

He guffawed when I told him I wanted the usual.

Boyfriend: Ok, Buster's Quarter no raaji saizu no de, ijou desu ka?
Me: Sore dake onegai shimasu.
Boyfriend: Gochuumon kurikae shimasu... Ohitotsu desu ne?
Me: (eyes rolling...) Hai.
Boyfriend: Okaikei wa...

I shut him up before he could continue.

Me: Sen happyaku kyuujuu yen desu ne? Wakattemasuyo.
Boyfriend: (laughing...) Anzen unten de san juppun to yon juppun hodo otodoke ita shimasu.
Me: Eh, juppun de daijoubu ja nai desu ka?
Boyfriend: Haha, gambarimasu.
Me: Onegai shimasu. Ima onaka ga suita desu.
Boyfriend: Ja, gochuumon arigatou gozaimashita.

Fifteen minutes after (25 minutes earlier than scheduled), my buzzer rang. He was gasping for words when I answered the call. So, I rushed to the door. There he was standing drenched because it was raining, holding my pizza, in his blushing grin. After handing him my payment, just when he was to turn his back away from me, I asked him off-guard...

Me: Koibito wa imasu ka?
Boyfriend: Imasen desu. (He looked awkward.)
Me: (was trying to be flirty :p) Kyou shigoto ni owarimashitara, de-to arimasen ka?
Boyfriend: (bashful) Arimasen. Ohya-san wa?
Me: Ja, futari wo onaji ka? Sabishii desu ne.
Boyfriend: Ummm... (I could see hearts twinkling out from his eyes.)
Me: Happy Valentine's. (and I started singing...) Koibito wo sayounara, la la la... (sneezing)
Boyfriend: Odaiji ni. (Said to someone who sneezes or ill.)
Me: (slowly closing my door...) Arigatou. Mata ne.
Boyfriend: Hai, yoroshiku. Bye-bye.

What a sad life it was for both of us. He's someone I really don't know, but I do tease him everytime. Calling him my boyfriend, just for fun. He's a delivery boy at a pizza restaurant. It must be luck, when he's the one who takes my calls and delivers my pizza for about distinct periods of time already. In the informal dialogue above, I just wanted to know if he had any girlfriend he'd take out for a date after his work. There was no one I was told. So, I sang him a song, Goodbye, my boyfriend... If only you had seen how scarlet his face was, oh boy, he thought I was serious? Haha.

Obviously, dallying with my boyfriend didn't work out. I spent my Valentine alone with one large pizza to gormandise and a well-being to look forward to. What a bitter sorrow.

Sobs.