Tokyo, Tokyo!

"One of our midnight walks"

It was not effing easy to be

the all-around-diva for two mouthfuls.

My poor mercenary spirit pleaded a treat,

away from the grease and clutter

in the kitchen.

So we decided to have dinner

just around the area.

"When We Were Very Young"

But we are just three;

Where could have Tigger been?

"The House At Pooh Corner"

Hey, there's Tigger!

"It's A Small World After All"

Disney Castle

Stolen moments

"Let me breathe...

I'm hearing my feet say."

Let's call it a day!

I'm really tired.

Inside the Mickey-train

Who has the most fictional smile?

Absolutely he is!

"Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way..."

Glad we're leaving.

Uhuh, caught in the act?!

You guess who was the first one to snore?

Believe me, I was just a victim of domestic dependency.

Look at the disorderly heap.

No one cared at the spread of assemblage.

And I, though a remnant of former greatness,

frayed my nerves.

So I succumbed early to slumber.

In the morning I woke up to this face.

...and sisterette as well.

@ The Venus Fort

Rehamsnoe

"Because we are sisters,

we are friends."

Meet and greet,

Irrashaimase!

Let's start all over again. Who wins the best fake smile?

In a rush

The contest is still going on...

Sakura! Cherry! 

Where are you?

Lost in translation

I can't afford to lose a second.

So we have to agree on what you want to do,

if I could still squeeze my time for you.

And she yielded in submission.

I'm after all her big sis.

Getting sleepy and hungry...

You'll be the judge.

Who's the most fake among us three?

Sayonara!

Till her next shop.

Team Kim

VANCOUVER – Kim Yuna dissolved into tears after she obliterated the opposition to become the first South Korean to win an Olympic figure skating gold medal, while a grieving Joannie Rochette melted millions of hearts with a display of sheer courage.

The 19-year-old, already hailed as Queen Yuna by her legion of admirers, had hollering fans rushing down the aisles after she was crowned Vancouver Games champion with a record combined total of 228.56. She won with a huge margin of 23.06 points.

"This was the first time I cried after an event. I didn't know why but I was so happy," said Yuna, already one of the top earning Olympians after banking more than $8 million in 2009.

"I still cannot believe that I received those scores, it's almost as close as the men's score," added Yuna, whose score would have placed her ninth in the men's event.

Japanese rival Mao Asada soared high into the air to become the only woman to land two triple Axels at the Pacific Coliseum on Thursday but could not match the technical wizardry, artistry or poise of Yuna and settled for silver with 205.5.

In Yuna's case, she had 50 million South Koreans following her every move -- and on Thursday she handed her nation their first Winter Games title outside short track and speed skating.

Her Canadian coach Brian Orser had declared last week that being with Yuna was "like traveling around with Princess Diana. She needs bodyguards where ever she goes."

Global popularity
Chances are that after Thursday, Yuna will have to hire dozens more bodyguards as her global popularity will no doubt soar following her incredible exhibition in Canada.

Born 20 days apart, Yuna and Asada have been rivals since the moment they first laced up their skates and for the second time in three days, the two teenagers brought traffic to a standstill in South Korea and Japan.

But it was Yuna who showed nerves of steel from the moment she landed her opening triple Lutz-triple toeloop combination.

Wearing an electric blue halter-neck dress, she took to the ice after doing the sign of the cross and almost appeared to be floating on water as she beautifully executed every one of her 11 jumps to the haunting backdrop of Gershwin's Concerto in F.

While roaring fans saluted her performance by proclaiming "Long live Queen Yuna", the Korean started shaking with emotion and with tears running down her cheeks, she covered her face.

The dozens of white teddy bears that started to rain down on the ice bore testament to the performance she had just delivered and the judges wasted little time in posting their verdict -- a record 150.06 points for the long program.

Asada had been on the ice to hear the frenzied commotion greet Yuna's score and the pressure got to her as she stumbled on her triple flip-double toeloop combination. Her glum face at the end of the program told its own story.

"Because there was so much noise I was not able to hear her score but I realized she must have had a very good score to get that type of reaction," said Asada.

***Honestly Mao, you were there in the ice just doing your routine. With that same face all through your figure skating competitions, just jumping, trying to make a triple-loop whatsoever. It's a shame. You've grown more un-gracefully. If you'd let go and put emotions to your routine, feel the rhythm instead of just dancing through it. I will always be watching you, but you will never impress me. 

There is no other

more fitting symbol

of Love

than of

the rising

and of

the setting

of the Sun.

It renews everything

every time it rises;

and reassures

every time it sets.

That in the morrow...

it'll be back.

Windy

If you simply need to escape, you can

Jump off from the roof of a skyscraper

Imagine that the wind pulling your hair up

...is the hope of a love that will soon go back down

...is the dream that all nightmares end.

The world stops spinning

As I hold you in my arms.
We are one
Breathing
Existing
Simply being.

Time stands still
As I look into your eyes.
Your depth revealing secrets untold
Unraveling your mysteries,
Your wonders unfold.

Heartbeats stop
As your lips touch mine,
I am slowly consumed;
Body, soul and mind.

Existence halts,
For with you there is no time
Nothing exists beyond
Your body and mine.

Life shudders as we open our eyes,
As dream and reality slowly intertwine.
Will we ever wake up, will we ever be free,
To have what we want so passionately?

The world stops spinning,
As time stands still.
As we slowly discover
If our existence is real.

Ever have that one thing in your life, that when you do it, the whole world just fades away and you are taken to a place where no one can touch you? I have that place, and I find it whenever I dance and sing.

I've always loved dancing and singing. Ever since I was a child, I would belch out Madonna or Whitney Houston songs at the top of my little lungs and dance around the room pretending that I were on stage in front of my fans. Never mind the fact that I didn't have a great voice. I was in love with dancing and singing, and whenever I did it, I felt an air of magic around me.

I grew up. And for six years of my grade school, I was a member of the convent choir and The Glee Club. I've had my moments. I did solo, trained by the four fingers of the "Mother Superior" stuck to my mouth. Until she gave up on me because I could not simply follow her strict rules of no sweets and ice cream. Oh dear heaven, it isn't a sin to have sweet tooth, right? I lost my stardom in singing. Although I continued to reign in dancing, and the spotlight was on me when I acted in a play. Of course, the stage has become my world. Yet it didn't matter if I were only in the background. But the only thing that meant to me was the chance to get up and do what I love most in the world. 

I still remember what my mom told me, almost in quiet submission, as I was in the middle of a big fight with her. "You weren't born in this world just so you could sing or dance, nor act. You were born to do greater things!" Boy, did that shut me up. That even when the time came I had to choose my college course, she never approved of my desire to pursue a degree in Theather Arts.

But being the willful and rebellious daughter that I am, I went on to audition for a band that were composed of my friends. I started sneaking out to do gigs, and at first I was completely hooked. The adrenaline rush you get on stage, the feeling of the audience singing with you, the nonstop high of being on a constant rush. I loved everything about it.

Then something happened, I lost my passion for singing. Somewhere along the way it had become something I HAD to do, not something I wanted to do anymore. Singing had changed for me, and I didn't like that the magical world I used to find whenever I sang became a place of dread.

I quit the band. I started singing for myself again. Instead I devoted myself to a youth band of our school's Catholic ministry and church community. Every time I sing I close my eyes, because the world I know, with all its craziness and uncertainty, disappears... and in its place is this wonderful heaven that I call my own. I sing, I dance, I cry in praise, worship and adoration. So with the people. 

When I need to feel loved, I dance and sing.

Whether I'm soaring with happiness or breaking down with loneliness, I dance and sing.

Whatever emotion my heart carries, comes out of me through a song and graceful movements of the body.

Singing is a part of my life, dancing as well. It is an expression of who I am.

Now, I sing for an intimate number of people only. And whenever I get in front of an audience, I want them to listen that I'm not singing an empty song. I'd like to take them to my magical world, even for just a moment, through a song. And, although I rarely dance these days, the ups and downs of life never stop the rhythm it has me. The twist and turn of fate, soon will be a grand jete of bliss and more music.

Mwahugs,

Boyeng <3

The three words that mean the most aren't "I love you", with its history of being an accomplice to lies, with its bad reputation as a myth. What is "I love you" but the easy way out, the secret weapon revealed at the ends of long-drawn battles between desperation and despair? "I love you" is what you say when you run out of valid arguments but decide to keep fighting anyway. "I love you" is what you use when you want to appear to be someone you're not. These are powerful words, powerful in the way that politicians and generals are nowadays, worth their weight in gold. "I love you" has been the pillar of empires and friendships, and their causes for downfall. "I love you" is where you build the tower of your trust, only to see it crumble down when these words are said to someone else. "I love you" is what you use when you want to be unfair, when you want to deliberately hurt. "I love you" throws the whole equation in chaos, unbalances the seesaw. It implies the loss of reason and pride, but is used to manipulate, to blackmail, leaving behind disillusionment and disappointment.


The three words that mean the most aren't "I want you", with its raw, blatant inconsideration, its implications of a primal need that is best released orgasmically. "I want you" is what spoiled brats say, it's what selfish bitches say, it's what horny boys say. "I want you" is harsh, said through clenched teeth, said with wild eyes. "I want you" is a physical sentence, the amalgamation of skin against a number of factors: skin on skin, fingernail on skin, teeth on skin. It is violent and rapid, a whirlwind of emotion, an explosion of saliva and other bodily fluids. These are words that have no origin, they emerge from the basest of instincts, they are triggered by smell, by touch, by the look of rawness in another person's eyes. These are words that signal the coming of a storm, and like most storms, they wreak havoc and then depart, leaving behind ruin and wounds.

The three words that mean the most aren't "I need you", with its childish, clingy implications, its sad, pathetic grievances. "I need you" leaves you open, blinding you to yourself, eradicating all traces of self-respect. "I need you" is the dying breath of a failed relationship. It is the battlecry of an overpowered suitor. These words signal the clinging to memories that are either long gone, or never were. These words bypass true necessity to make fools out of the sayers. These are not words to be used by all; it takes the strongest persons to relay this message correctly. Otherwise all is naught, you only reveal yourself as an empty shell craving for something, anything, to fill it. But then, the strongest persons never have the need to say these words. It's the irony of life. These words are like taking a knife to your throat and piercing your skin gently, leaving behind a trail of blood too thin for anyone to see, but painful enough for you to feel.

The three words that mean the most, I think, the ones that really hit the mark, and often in the most unexpected of ways, are "I miss you". This is the sentence that sends the message right home. Because what other message is there? Nothing else, except exactly just that, "I miss you", and everything else is pulled along into it, like a chain reaction. Unlike "I love you" and the lies that go along with it, "I miss you" is honest and sincere, you only say it when you mean it, and you don't have to mean it in a big way to really mean it. Unlike "I want you" and its expectations, "I miss you" offers all it has, and waits for nothing in return. Unlike "I need you" and its desperate whines, "I miss you" stands on its own, a whole entity in just three words, devoid of arms that cling to you for life.

"I miss you" means everything and nothing, it is unflinching and honest. It is upbeat and simple, with wisps of longing and clouds of hope. You miss people you used to love, people you used to want, people you used to need. But most of the time the missing is all that's left, and that's OK, there's nothing else you'd change. The missing implies a past that remains in its rightful place. Or it implies the reality and possibilities of the present. It is hope and love and lust and peace all at the same time. Some people say that when they met that person, it was akin to "coming home". And missing is this manifestation of home-sickness, the way people return to their homelands to die, the way all the comfort the world has to offer is nothing compared to the feeling of being in someone's arms.

And that's why I miss you, because you're not here, and because every time I think about you, that's all that I think. I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, and the world turns for both of us, and I can't wait until you come home... Till I see you.
Mwahugs, boyeng <3

Tears from heaven

Falling like starlit jewels

Damp blanket covering my body

Washing away all my pain...

Tears from heaven

I look up to kiss your salty lips

Cleansing my searching soul

Completing me

I am once again whole.

Glistening silver against the moonlight

I am silenced by such a perfect sight;

The world stands still as I lose myself

Hearing nothing else but the softest rhythm felt...

It plays over and again like a lost melody

For once in my life I am finally free.

Tears from heaven

Cascading down my naked skin

Your touch healing me from all my mortal sins.

I lie down to embrace eternal sleep

With tears from heaven in my eyes,

I gently weep.

Mwahugs,

Boyeng <3

Loneliness

It's one of those nights when I just want to sing my heart out. And I will never get tired of hearing this song for the umpteenth time. It brings back memories of my grade school days... just being with your clique of girl friends squatting on the floor at ballet class... the agony of enduring the scorching heat of sunlight every gardening course... when to loaf our time by the lobby after school while waiting for our ride home... and we would shrinkwrapped ourselves to its sacred verses of which had no verbal significance to us yet.

I have a terrible habit of wearing mismatched socks. Sometimes one's black and the other gray, or close brown colors. Every now and then, I discover a hole that I've forgotten about. It's something that has become a habit, because there's always the safety net of knowing that people don't usually stare at my feet more than they stare at what I wear or what I look like. Fortunately for me, they can't judge my feet.


In this world where you have to at least try to look, dress, talk and think like everyone else, it's easy to lose your identity. People who have different opinions than everyone else face two consequences: they're either highly admired or ostracized.


In a world where there is an endless search for personal fulfillment and individual expression, it becomes a challenge for us to be able to truly express our emotions, to really appreciate the wonder of living our lives intensely, merely because we're too worried at what others might think. We're too scared of being judged. And sadly, it is this fear that holds us back from ever realizing our passion for life.


And yet, I find certain joy in seeing the brave few who strive to break out of the mold of conformity, those who shout at the top of their lungs to show ecstacy, who break down and cry when they hurt, and who live like there is no tomorrow.


So, I ask, who deserves our admiration?


Is it the woman who eats at a fancy restaurant, with her 10 forks and spoons, but looks utterly bored? Or the lady who eats with her fingers but savors every morsel of her meal, making a simple chicken and rice combination feel like a feast?


Is it the businessman who works a 9 to 5 job that he hates to make ends meet? Or is it the artist who is free to express his creativity and joy through his work?

Is it the couple who fight fiercely but make love as passionately? Or the couple who pretend that everything is ok and end up gradually hating each other?


When someone dances in the rain, sings out loud, rejoices with her every being,  kisses her boyfriend passionately in front of a million people, and just lives unconditionally, there's a part of me that wishes I could have the courage to break out of my prison. I look on in envy and I just wish I could shed every fear of judgment that I have and just completely live my life- insanely, passionately, intensely!


I wish I could live as if I were about to die the next day- no routines, no rationalizations, and no regrets! Just embrace the pure magic of moments and of the people around me. Maybe then I'd be able to let go of my inhibitions and learn how to love my life and myself completely and with total abandonment.


Maybe someday I'll find the courage to do just that- to laugh until my belly aches, to reach out to complete strangers, to love and live until I have nothing left to give, for I have already given everything I have, and to finally, at the end of my life, look death in the eye and say, "Take me, I'm ready."


Someday I'll go beyond my mismatched socks, someday I'll do more than just politely laugh at a good joke, someday I'll go beyond than giving what's enough, maybe I'll sing, dance, jump and scream with everyone watching, not caring if they think I'm insane... and someday, maybe someday, I'll truly live.

Mwahugs,

Boyeng <3

Last night I cried.

And it's been long since I did. Because when you're at the frontline for the people and that thing you love, you have to be strong. You have to rise up to the occasion, at almost all costs. Because you can't show them how sad you are, how scared you really are, how tired you are and how burned out you already are.

But the time comes when you reach your limit. When you no longer have the strength to rise to the occasion, when you need to face that scary part, when you can no longer just sit there and laugh it off. Because at the end of the day you're only human, because I am only human.

Last night I reached my limit, I let the walls I built fall down.

Last night I cried, and it felt so good.

Mwahugs,

Boyeng <3

Humor Me!

I came across this skit from a Twitter-friend. Now it piques me if I would ever be a good wife in the future. Because I don't think I would be as *cute* wife portrayed in this comic. Were my bones gladly resumed to the easy way. Good morning, sunshine!

For girls who: 


The ones who waited all night for him to call, only to check the caller ID the next morning and be disappointed. 


The ones who made it through that bitter break up, dried your own tears, and moved on with your life, only to have him walk back in it months later like nothing ever happened. 


Those of you who cried on the first day you talked again because you knew exactly where this phone call was going. 


The ones who listened to him say, I only want to be your friend, one day, and the next, listened to him say how much he loves and misses you. 




((We deserve something, and this is our tribute. 
Here's to the ones that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people really do change.)) 


We listened to our friends tell us that we were stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, caught crap from our parents, and even snuck around to see him for a while. 


We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. We started this out thinking it would be just friends, and ended up falling in love with him again.


***We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time. And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. This is for us.*** 


Here's to the ones who believed what he said, sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours, or a few days. 




Here's for the tears cried and dried all over again. We wanted so desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn't possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early. 


We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us. 




~We learned to SETTLE for someone who didn't treat us the way we should be treated.~ 


Here's for the ones who did their hair and make up and put on their prettiest earrings, only to hear him say that he couldn't see us today. 


The ones who never believed it when people told us there might be someone else. We just couldn't believe that he could do this to us again. 


THIS IS FOR THOSE GREAT GIRLS, WHO LOVED HIM MORE THAN WORDS CAN SAY--AND TOOK HIM BACK NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME BECAUSE THEY COULDN'T BARE TO LOOK BACK ON THEIR LIVES ONE DAY AND WONDER "WHAT IF". 


Here's to the girls who couldn't cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt. The ones who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again. 


This is for the ones who couldn't bear to even tell their mom what was going on, for fear of an "I told you so." 


The ones that could just TELL that they had made a mistake ever allowing him into their hearts, their beds, and their dreams again. 


~~We knew that we deserved better the entire time, that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us whenever he got the chance, one that would really care about us. We just wanted the one that we loved like that.

Here's for the ones that FINALLY realized that he never gave a crap about them. 


HERE'S FOR THE TIME THAT HE BROKE YOUR HEART AGAIN. THS IS FOR THOSE DAYS SPENT TRYING TO HOLD BACK THE TEARS, AND THE TEARS THAT TURNED INTO ANGER, THEN DISAPPOINTMENT. 


Here's for us girls who finally realized that we 
deserve better. This is for those confusing days, when you miss him, and want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist. Stay strong, and remember that relationships are like broken glass, sometimes it's better to leave it alone rather than try to put the pieces back together and get hurt. Remember the times you cried, and how long it took you to even be able to look at another guy like that. 


******When "your song" comes on the radio, turn the station. When the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made and tries calling, turn your phone off. When he tries coming to your house, don't answer the door. Think of the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation and the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the crap he was. Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night, and how it fell to your stomach when you saw it wasn't him, and realized that once again, he hadn't called when he said he was going to.********* 


One day, you'll find a guy who's worth all the tears, but he won't make you cry. You may think that you'll never care about someone like you did that guy that you always ran back to, but you will. It's gonna hurt like crap, and it's going to need time to heal, but the point is, IT WILL HEAL.

Mwahugs,

Boyeng <3

Going Home!

Hola!

Como vai? Sentimos sua falta? Mas eu ainda não desistiu de tentar aprender japonês. Estou ocupado no trabalho ultimamente. Embora não seja ainda uma desculpa. Vou tentar escrever mais quando tenho tempo. Último fim de semana, mas eu me diverti muito. Foi uma grande experiência novamente.

Hottie Aya!

Do I really need to pay ¥777 Twitter 'book'?

My two friends in the backseat.

Gift

Lunch treat ;)

Tadaima

This blog has not been updated for quite long. I've been here and there. And my thoughts have gone too places, or must've left them somewhere on my way back. In this roadtrip it never stop to amaze me how far I could go. There're times that I would live in the edge. Doubts would lurk in, dark clouds stalking in every step. But it didn't cue me to take the trip to downhill. I have chosen to segue to that course, which stretched to smoothed highways or take me to a haul. Most oft I would see myself in the damps, and wake up away from the shaft of rays. Yet knowing that I am standing in a round surface, I couldn't be turned upside down. For it's all written up there in the vast skies. Shining as of light.

Bert and Ernie in Boston

Bert and Ernie in Boston by Daryl Cagle *MSNBC.com; posted Nov. 23, 2003

I miss karaoke nights in the land of Abu Sayaff. Those days when the sound of bombs felt like distant rumblings. And we would just ignore it and sing to our heart's content.